Kissing Jessica Stein - wtf?

Fuck. Around the wedding scene I was thinking the movie would be a little bit too sugar sweet if it ended right there right then. But hell I would have prefered that – cause fuck...!
    Ok, you know how on Amazon they have all these lists that members have made, with – for example – "my favourite musicals", "greatest TV series boxsets" and "looking for lesbian films to watch?". Yeah, there are quite many lists with lesbian movies, and there are a few movies that tend to show up on most of them. One of these – and one of the only ones I hadn't seen to this morning – is Kissing Jessica Stein.
    Now, I always expected this one to be rather corny – probably one of those movies where you sit through two hours of waiting for the two girls to kiss, and finally in the last scene, they do. That's what I expected, and I honestly didn't feel like Kissing Jessica Stein was a movie I had to see. Well, I expected wrong – and this I realised almost immediately as I started watching. The characters where a lot more interesting than I thought they would be – actually, Jessica herself reminded me a lot of a girl I dated for a few months a while back – and the story wasn't quite so much an i-love-you-but-i-don't-wan't-to-be-gay story as I had imagined.
    So, I was happy with what I found. Girl hasn't dated in a while, doesn't like the men she does date, meets girl, likes girl, is a bit awkward but hey it's all cute and it all goes relatively well. Pretty much all through the movie. Yayness – right? Personally, I didn't use to be into the whole sweet-love-story-with-a-happy-ending thing, I don't really see myself as that person – but to be honest, I completely adore movies like But I'm A Cheerleader and Imagine Me & You. I need those unrealistic tales to give me hope yet make me feel depressed and lonely – and I trusted Kissing Jessica Stein to do that same thing for me! But oh my Joss did it disappoint me.
    When I say disappoint, I am obviously not talking about the actual movie as much as the ending. Turning Jessica straight was a bad idea – bad bad bad. And the ending just didn't make sense – what were they trying to say with this? This certainly wasn't the simplest way to end the movie, so they must have had some kind of point in doing so. Not only does the couple we have wooted for the entire movie not end up together – but our main character falls for the man she has been not interested in for years and years and years? Uh uh, bad decision.
    Again, I would have prefered it if they ended it after Jessica's brother's wedding – when everything was almost annoyingly sweet – 'cause basically... this was no fun.
    Yes I am being childish, but I really expected this to be a silly lesbian happy ending story – that's what I wanted to see... Ah well, I guess I'll have to rewatch Imagine Me & You for the tenth time then. See ya babes. Mhm.

We just never stop being fucking hilarious, do we?

I just never stops being funny, does it? I could mention something about kindergarten-behaviour and childishness, but it's not even that simple. We're doing a film course, and I've got 20 year old boys – uh, yes boys – in my class who can't stop giggling over words like "homodiegetisk" and "analeptisk" (Swedish words, mind you, but you get the associations).
    I know what you're going to say – they're insecure about their all sexuality, right? But no, it's not even that simple. They keep making gay-related joke after gay-related joke, and can't stop associating every single word to gay things, making every sentence "homo erotic" – but they keep stressing the fact that there's nothing wrong with being gay, and they aren't afraid to act in a way they themself think seems gay. If they were acting in an at all homophobic way, I would be offended and confront them about it, but they're just being kids. Though I can't but wonder – when will they stop?
    It is all fun up until some point. Hey even I can laugh about that stuff – even I? It's not like what they're talking about has got anything to do with me, I'm not a gay man, and they hardly ever mention gay girls, guess that's a whole different thing for guys.
    Yeah, as I said, it's all fun – or at least ok – up until a point. Then it just stops being fun. Or so I thought – apparently they don't think so though. At some point it starts becoming lame, at another point it's just pointless, and then, at the third point, it's just annoying. Come one, is this what it's going to be like all year? 'Cause in the end, this will be too much, and I'll just have to decide on ignoring the whole bunch of guys all together.
    I guess my conclusion is that, even though my classmates are all nice, funny and "gayfriendly" people – and even though I certainly am no gay man and their words don't hurt me the least – it will always bother me when people I normally like turn gays into something to laugh at. It can be funny, sure, everything is at times – but when gay people and "the gay lifestyle" become the only things you actually laugh at...? Nah, it just ain't cool no more, sorry guys...

Lars Winnerbäck

I don't go to concerts very frequently – I'm a poor student and I just don't have the money. However, about two years ago my friend had two tickets to Lars Winnerbäck, and she gave me one. Those of you who are not Swedes will not have heard about this man. He's awesome, trust me, but don't listen to him – he's a poet, his voice is nice and all, but what makes him great are the lyrics he writes, they are beautiful, and no translation could ever do them justice.
    Anyhow, this concert we went to. Two years ago. Started off with this tiny blonde Swedish girl, wearing a huge black hoodie – Anna Ternheim, her you should listen to though – singing her lovely and sort of sad songs, and then leaving the stage for Winnerbäck to enter. Now, this guy usually has his band with him (Hovet, heh), but this time he was all alone. We – as in the audience – were all sitting down all quiet (well ok not all quiet) listening to this rather scruffy looking man, on a chair with his guitar. Just. Singing.
    I have never cried that much in my life. Ever. And I'm not talking tiny tears in my eyes – I was crying like a baby, for two hours. Obviously there is a much longer story to why his music means so much to me, but that stuff is personal. Point is. I cried. So did my friend and most people in the room. So would a hell of a lot other people have done – including my dear sister Joamna – had they been there. Point is. This man touches people. In an almost creepy – but tey not creepy at all – way.
    So when Rakel – the friend who gave me the ticket that time – asks me in April if I want to go with her to see Lars Winnerbäck in Umeå in July, I said yes almost immediately – even though it cost crazy 350sek (which is a lot for a concert with a Swedish guy). Now, this time was something completely different. It was "Lars Winnerbäck och hovet", which means his band was there too. Which meant they played a lot of newer songs (that I don't know that well), and less sad songs and more like happy ones? But it also meant, way less crying and way more smiling like a maniac. Again – this guy's music makes me feel stuff, and these people, singing together like this, made me wish (again again again) that I belonged to the musical part of our family, and could sing or play any kind of instrument. If I did, me and Joamna would start a band almost as great as Tegan and Sara. Mhm.
    It is probably a good thing that I can't go to concerts too often; they tend to make me feel too much stuff, make me too emotional. That doesn't mean I'm not still annoyed that I missed Regina Spektor when she was in Stockholm in July, or Björk at Arvika a few years back – and if I had any chance of going to a Tegan and Sara concert, I would anything to be able to go... But, yeah, it's probably good that I can't go to concerts too often – 'cause just typing this, just listening to Winnerbäck, thinking about what it is like to see him live.. Well.. Yeah.. I have tears in my eyes...

The geekness of epo

It all started with a girl – doesn't it always? This girl though, was not someone I dated, not someone I had ever met, not even a celebrity – this girl was someone who posted on the same message board as me, and whom I happened to have a huge board crush on.
    This girl seemed to think exactly the way I did; she liked the same things I liked, had the same political opinions as well as philosophical ideas as I did – she was basically me. But a far cooler version of me. Which made me jealous and annoyed, yet very intrigued.
    This was the girl who told me to become a geek. Well, she didn't actually tell me personally, but she was the hugest geek you could imagine, that much I knew – and that was enough for me.
    Now, this was almost two years ago. My online crush ceased to exist about a year and a half ago – and I honestly haven't thought much about this girl since, but I never forgot about the things she (in one way or another) encouraged me to do. Um. Such as become a geek.

So here I am – 2.5 years after I discovered BtVS, 2 years after I got myself an online life and 1.5 years after I got over my insane board crush – as proud a geek as you can possibly be! This is something me and my sister have been working hard with – becoming geeks. Like, getting into the world of comics for example. Now, I don't actually know if this girl like/liked comics. She was a huge video game freak, but since I can't play videogames (I get super dizzy and sick), I am trying the comic thing instead. It's not going too great, I haven't fully got it yet, to be honest – and it's too darn expensive. (I know you can download a lot of comics, but it's just not as much fun to read it on the screen of my iBook as to actually get to turn the pages of a comic.)
    I guess all this is the explanation why my friend Towe is right now sitting across the table from me, drawing the comic I am writing. I guess "that girl" and that silly crush is the reason I am now an occationally semi-creative geek. So, thank you? Thank you silly board-crush and thank you BtVS and thank you sister Joamna =)